What not to say to a friend who is struggling to conceive

What not to say to a friend who is struggling to conceive5 minutes agoShareSaveAdd as preferred on GoogleGrace DeanGetty ImagesThe day after Vicky Levens had her third miscarriage, she returned to her job as a receptionist.Back at work, two managers, whom she says knew about what she'd been through, made comments she found hurtful."At least" Vicky was early on in her pregnancy when she miscarried a female manager told her, while a male manager said she didn't look presentable enough to work at the reception desk."I was in shock," says Vicky, 29, from Belfast. She handed in her notice on her next shift.Vicky LevensVicky says misplaced advice about her fertility and future can be hurtful Over the years, friends and family have made misguided but well-meaning comments to Vicky about her struggle to conceive, telling her "it'll be your turn soon", "just hold on to hope", or even offering her advice."I know they're trying to bring comfort," says Vicky, who started trying for a baby in 2020. "But, in the moment, when you're going through the motions, I wish people wouldn't say that, because it hurts." Uncomfortable commentsVicky is not alone in facing uncomfortable comments about miscarriage and fertility struggles."You are met with really poor words from people," Kay, 33, from Manchester, told Woman's Hour's Guide to Life in an episode about navigating conversations around infertility. The vast majority of ill-judged comments aren't intentional, she says, but they can come across as insensitive."Someone really close to me sat me down just before I started IVF and said to me 'a lot of women have miscarriages, so you just need to get ready and not be dramatic about it'," Kay recalls.Kay says people have unintentionally made hurtful comments about her infertilityAccording to the NHS, around one in seven couples have difficulty conceiving. In...