I reviewed my children’s back-to-school shopping lists last week. After wrapping my head around the dizzying array of required items, I was struck by what was missing: safety.
Across America, parents will spend the next few weeks buying everything from notebooks, pens, and pencils to dorm fridges, shower caddies, and laundry baskets.
No parent wants their child to be "that kid" — the one who accidentally shows up on the first day with the wrong calculator or without gym shoes. Yet whether dropping them off at the bus stop or at the quad, almost none of them will send them away with an honest, practical conversation about safety — the one thing they need most.
IS CYBERBULLYING HIDING IN YOUR CHILD'S GROUP CHAT?
Why? Sometimes, because we assume our kids already know what to do or that someone else will teach them. Mostly because it’s uncomfortable. It’s easier to talk about spiral notebooks and extra-long twin sheets than about what to do if the unthinkable happens. But silence has not made our schools safer — and it has not made our children more prepared.
Real back-to-school readiness means facing potential threats head-on. As parents gear up for the school year, there are three essential steps they should take.
1. Demand that educators be trained and equipped for an emergency.
Teachers and other school staff are often the first line of defense in a crisis. That’s an enormous responsibility for people whose emergency training is often little more than a checklist and an afternoon seminar. This is not a knock on teachers and staff. It’s a gap in what schools have been asked and funded to provide.
Genuine school safety requires much more than a plan on paper. It means a strong physical footprint (single-point entry, rapid classroom door locks), modern safety tools (mass notification system, AI-assisted surveillance), and emergency training. Parents shouldn’t hesitate to ask direct questions. How are teachers trained? What safety tools are actually available in the classrooms? How quickly can the school communicate with families during an emergency? Teachers and staff deserve real support, and parents deserve transparency.
2. Talk about safety early — and often.
It’s a natural human instinct to want to shield a seven-year-old from a worry they haven’t asked for or to protect a college freshman’s first weeks from worst-case scenarios. I feel that pull every fall. But while it’s natural, it doesn’t protect our children from risk.
The goal isn’t to scare children. It’s to prepare them — to build awareness, confidence, and the ability to respond if something ever goes wrong. As parents, we can’t shy away from these discussions.
WE GREW UP BEFORE SCREENS TOOK OVER. OUR KIDS DESERVE THAT CHANCE TOO
Obviously, what you say should be age-appropriate. The message you give a second-grader shouldn’t sound like the one you give a high school senior or college freshman.
For my wife and me, this meant walking through our kids’ schools ourselves, understanding the layout and emergency plans, then sitting down with our kids and having the conversation more than once. It’s not a one-time "big talk." It’s something we bring up naturally before school starts and revisit throughout the year. We remind them to pay attention to their surroundings, trust their instincts, and know what to do if something feels wrong.
Will older kids roll their eyes? Of course. "Yeah, mom. Yeah, dad. I know." That’s part of parenting. Say it anyway. Sometimes, the things our kids hear for the hundredth time are the things they remember when it matters most. And if they’re ever faced with danger, there’s a good chance they’ll remember exactly what you told them.
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The same approach applies online. First-day-of-school photos are a tradition in our home, like many others. But we’ve started thinking twice before posting them. Sharing a school’s name, a daily routine, or a child’s interests online creates unnecessary exposure. Teaching our kids to pause before they post has become another safety habit we’re trying to build.
3. Evaluate appropriate personal safety tools.
Everyone has the right to feel safe, and families should take full advantage of every lawful tool their school or college permits. Families should familiarize themselves with campus policies and equip their students with the protective options they’re comfortable carrying. Depending on a student’s age and school policy, those options range from personal safety alarms to ballistic backpack inserts.
For college students, families should review campus safety policies and consider permitted personal safety tools — such as noise alarms, location-sharing emergency apps, and, where allowed by university policy, standard pepper spray. Faculty should consider other non-lethal options with greater range and stopping power.
We insure our homes against fires that may never happen. We buckle seat belts hoping they’ll never be needed. Preparing our children for a school emergency is no different. We all pray they’ll never have to use what we’ve taught them. But hope has never been a safety plan.
We can’t control every danger our children may face. We can control whether we’ve prepared them for it. That’s a responsibility no parent should leave to chance.
