The No. 1 Thing That Keeps Love Alive In A Relationship, By A Psychologist

InnovationScienceThe No. 1 Thing That Keeps Love Alive In A Relationship, By A PsychologistByMark Travers,Contributor.Forbes contributors publish independent expert analyses and insights. I write about relationships, personality, and everyday psychology.Follow AuthorMay 31, 2026, 09:30am EDTThe secret to lasting love depends on how willing couples are to keep discovering new sides of each other. Here’s how novelty ensures this, according to research.gettyThere’s an unmistakable momentum to new relationships. Couples stay up too late talking. They try new restaurants. They create rituals without even realizing it. They fall in love. They build something from nothing, and the process itself feels exciting. Eventually, though, if things go well, relationships stabilize.Partners move in together. They build routines. They get married, adopt pets, have children, merge responsibilities, establish careers. Life becomes more predictable. The thrills that once fueled their infatuation fade out, and a sense of security fades in. Although security is one of the greatest achievements a relationship can reach, it can also create an uncomfortable realization for many couples: things feel a little… boring. Not bad or unhealthy in any way. Just familiar.The problem is that people often mistake this feeling for falling out of love, when in reality, they may simply be experiencing the natural consequence of too much predictability. Stability itself is not the enemy of passion. In fact, the healthiest long-term relationships are built on stability. The issue is what happens when couples stop exploring new things and experiencing life in new ways together.That’s why, once the honeymoon phase fades and steadiness takes its place, there’s one thing that becomes especially important for keeping love alive: novelty.What Is Novelty In Love?Novelty refers to experiences that feel new, fresh, unfamiliar or psychologically stimulating. In a foundational 1986 study published in The Journal of G...