Row Z: Tottenham x Peppa Pig - the collaboration football really needed

AFC BournemouthArsenalAston VillaBrentfordBrighton & Hove AlbionBurnleyChelseaCrystal PalaceEvertonFulhamLeeds UnitedLiverpoolManchester CityManchester UnitedNewcastle UnitedNottingham ForestSunderlandTottenham HotspurWest Ham UnitedWolverhampton WanderersScores & ScheduleStandingsFantasyThe Athletic FC NewsletterPodcastsEverton vs. Man City ReactionsFootball's Biggest Talking PointsPL Title Race: Who Has the Edge?Liverpool's Doom LoopRow Z: Tottenham x Peppa Pig – the collaboration football really neededTottenham have linked up with Peppa Pig. About time, too Leon Neal - WPA Pool/Getty Images Share articleWelcome to Row Z, The Athletic’s weekly column that shines a light on the bonkers side of the game. From clubs to managers, players to organisations, every week we’ll bring you the absurdities, the greed, the contradictions, the preposterousness and the oddities of the sport we all love… In terms of maintaining credibility with your average match-going supporter, there’s arguably never really a right time to launch a range of Peppa Pig merchandise. Kudos to Tottenham Hotspur, then, for unveiling a collection of animated pig-themed hats and scarves while they are already the punchline for 90 per cent of English football jokes right now, owing to the ninth-richest club in the world being embroiled in a desperate battle to avoid being relegated from the Premier League. What’s wrong with Spurs (or Tottenham, as they like to be called) teaming up with a hugely popular children’s television series, you might ask? Well, absolutely nothing. Peppa and her family are generally a pretty happy-go-lucky, smiling, carefree bunch, which immediately feels at odds with the Spurs ethos, but it’s just a bit of financial gain-based fun, no harm done. However, now that Peppa Pig is officially affiliated with Tottenham Hotspur, Row Z does have some questions. Row Z can exclusively reveal that the writers of Peppa Pig are currently penning a special Spurs-themed episode of the show for a future series. We’ve gained access to an early draft of the script… Peppa: “We’re going to win at home today!” Suzy Sheep: “Peppa, you always say that.” Peppa: “This time it’s different.” The screen cuts to Peppa, face down in a puddle in the centre circle. Narrator: “It wasn’t different.” Reports that Chelsea have applied to continue wearing their really special, really shiny Club World Cup winners’ badge on their shirts next season definitely don’t speak of a club looking to retrospectively amplify the importance of winning a glorified pre-season tournament at all. It may have been played in sometimes 40C (104F) heat in the United States in July and the manager who masterminded it may have since been moved on, to be replaced by a guy whose team were seventh in France’s 18-club Ligue 1 at the time of his move to Stamford Bridge (and he himself has now been sacked, 4.5 per cent of the way into his potential six-and-a-half-year contract). And its champions are now struggling to finish in the 2025-26 Premier League’s top 10. But look at the shiny badge! Rumours that Arsenal have taken inspiration from their London rivals and, fearing completing zero per cent of the quadruple they were chasing a few weeks ago, have applied to wear an Emirates Cup badge on their shirts next season are unconfirmed. The Still brothers have been in the news this week, with one sacked by a Championship club and the other attempting to explain why he might have been sacked by a Championship club. We’ll begin with Will, who gave an insightful and eloquent interview with The Overlap Breakdown which included a conversation about why things didn’t work out for him at Southampton (he left the club, who have gone on to make the Championship’s promotion play-offs, in November with his team 21st in the 24-strong table). Still suggested that – and bear with us here – the language barrier may have been an issue. He was brought up in English by English-speaking parents, but while living in Belgium. “The one thing that I think I struggled with was the language,” he said. “I know this sounds stupid. You listen to me now and I’m fluent in English. The thing is, I was brought up at home in English, we spoke English at home, but the English language we used was very family-based. “I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve had to talk to the press or a group of young men. I almost felt like a foreigner walking into that environment.” It’s a genuinely interesting talking point and he explains it really well, but it’s also got to be a first that someone fluently speaking the language of the country he was working in found it a problem (when dealing with a squad containing two Danes, two Brazilians, two Germans and players born in Japan, Spain and Israel) and, ultimately, a possible reason for his downfall. Still also points out he didn’t take any of his own backroom team from previous jobs in Belgium and France with him to Southampton, but did have club staff Paul Trollope and Adam Lallana helping out. Presumably as translators. Meanwhile, set your faces to stunned, Watford have sacked another manager. Their third boss of the campaign, Will’s brother Ed Still, was swiftly shown through their revolving door after the Championship’s regular season ended on Saturday with Watford 16th in the table. The club announced the news via an emotional 32-word statement which included heartfelt phrasing such as “Watford have this morning” and “parted company”. It’s a surprise to all of us that the man whose previous managerial role before moving to Watford was with Belgium’s Kortrijk in 2023 (where he was sacked after eight games and no victories) couldn’t turn the tide at Vicarage Road. We should have seen it coming that Ed wouldn’t last the entirety of his two-and-a-half-year contract (!) after Watford, when announcing his appointment, listed one of his qualities as being fluent in English. But what type of English? And finally this week, Leyton Orient’s Richie Wellens rewrote the rule book on the managerial end-of-season interview. Wellens was speaking to reporters after his Orient side secured their League One survival with a 2-2 draw at home to Burton Albion. It’s safe to say he went against convention, in a PG-rated Malcolm Tucker sort of way. Here’s what the rulebook dictates… and what Wellens actually said. Your team have just courageously avoided relegation on the final day. Praise the players for their strong mentality. “We’ve got a weak group — really, really weak, OK? We had relegation written all over us.” It’s important to stress the importance of family after a long, gruelling season. “Don’t be celebrating with your family. Get off the pitch. It’s been an embarrassing season.” Be sure to recognise how hard the players have worked. “I’ve had one year of my management career that I’ve wasted on them players. Wasted.” Performances haven’t been great but the club have some season tickets to shift for next season, so put a brave face on it. “Week in, week out – especially the past six or seven weeks – they get served up with rubbish. Our supporters last year had songs for about 10 players. We have songs for two players this year.” Spot the pattern. Connect the terms Find the hidden link between sports terms