Parents are too 'weak' in disciplining children and should not complain about schools being excessively strict, says behaviour tsar

By JAMES TOZER, NORTHERN CORRESPONDENT Published: 14:43, 19 April 2026 | Updated: 14:43, 19 April 2026 Today’s parents are too 'weak' in disciplining their children and are wrong to complain that schools are excessively strict, according to the Government’s behaviour tsar. Parents made more than five million formal complaints about schools, yet at the same time pupil suspensions for assaulting staff have soared. According to Tom Bennett, the Department for Education's ambassador for attendance and behaviour, schools have had to take a tougher stance on discipline due to a 'parenting gap' which means children too rarely hear the word 'no' at home. ‘Some parents have very weak boundaries with their children,’ the 54-year-old former RE teacher told the Sunday Times. ‘They allow them to be on their iPads and phones all day and think that's loving and caring as “it's making my child happy”. ‘Schools are saying “no, we are going to do it [discipline] like this”, and that parenting gap is where a lot of this comes from. ‘Parents and schools have moved in different directions.’ Schools need to ensure that pupils ‘respect the teacher and do the right thing the first time you're asked’, he added. Tom Bennett, the Department for Education's ambassador for attendance and behaviour, says parents today are too 'weak' in disciplining their children, leaving schools with no choice to impose unpopular rules so pupils are in a fit state to learn That includes knowing they have to ‘be on time’ and ‘bring your equipment’, as well as not swearing at teachers or hitting fellow pupils. His comments come after the Daily Mail revealed how a headmaster renowned for his 'zero tolerance' approach turned around a troubled high school - using weekend detentions, extra maths classes and clamping down on uniform. Alun Ebenezer, 50, was dubbed the 'headmaster from hell' by parents after he sent 50 children home in one day over uniform violations such as wearing the wrong socks and the lengths of girls' skirts. But last summer he was celebrating exam success by pupils at Caldicot School, Monmouthshire, which was previously gripped by turmoil as teachers repeatedly went on strike over violent pupils and unruly behaviour. Mr Ebenezer brought in a range of different methods such as Saturday detentions, university-style maths classes, and house choir competitions to install discipline. He also returned the school to wearing blazers and introduced rewards for high attendance rates. Following the changes, last summer's GCSE scores this summer rose by 14 points, equivalent to nearly two-and-a half grades per student.  Delegates at the National Education Union conference voted last month for a motion calling for a national campaign to reduce violence in schools. Staff at one primary school in Greater Manchester staged a walkout in January after complaining of being violently assaulted by the children in their care. One child even fired an imitation firearm in the playground. Separately a poll of 1,700 headteachers found 90 per cent have been subjected to 'rude or disrespectful behaviour' from mothers and fathers during the last 12 months. Meanwhile, 60 per cent had suffered 'verbal abuse or threats' from parents and 57 per cent had been targeted by them on social media. Mr Bennett, who runs an education research company and was also a behaviour tsar under the last Conservative government, has visited around 1,600 schools and says he has never come across one he thinks is too strict. That includes Michaela Community School, in north-west London, which is often described as Britain's strictest school. Rules include silent corridors and detention for not doing homework or coming to lessons with incorrect uniform or equipment. Too many parents imagine that ‘if you just speak nicely to children, they'll behave’, he told the paper. But in reality, it means teachers are faced with pupils who ‘think they can do what they want and their feelings are the only feelings that matter’. Parents need to be ‘critical allies’ to teachers, he said, saying that helping them ‘learn the skills to help them function at school’ will ‘teach them the skills to help them function in life’. His comments come as parents made more than five million formal complaints about schools in 2024-25, according to the National Governance Association. At the same time, there were 16,000 suspensions for assaulting an adult in a single term, more than there were across a whole school year a decade earlier. The comments below have not been moderated. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline. By posting your comment you agree to our house rules. Do you want to automatically post your MailOnline comments to your Facebook Timeline? 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