London Marathon: 'Suicide tore our family apart, we're taking this on in memory of dad'

As they pound the streets of the capital at this weekend’s London Marathon , it will be a bittersweet moment for brothers James and Henry Ash. The pair are running in memory of their beloved father Robert, who died by suicide in September 2023. He was 61 years old. “Dad was a wonderful man, a jovial family man,” says James, 34, who lives in Clapham, London and works in equity sales for a bank. “His death came completely out of the blue and shattered our family life.” Henry, 32, who lives in Hammersmith, London, and works in fundraising and development, adds: “We’ve always been very close and Dad who was a key part of our family. When Dad was alive he was the person everyone wanted to sit next to at a dinner party, he would crack jokes. He loved his golf . We were very shocked by his death and didn’t see it coming.” Wealth manager Robert lived in Ripon, North Yorkshire with his wife, Charlotte, 62, now retired. On the day he died, Robert went to the gym in the morning, then to the office. It seemed like an entirely normal day. Charlotte says: “He came back at lunchtime, upset and anxious. We went for a walk, had a cup of tea. I went out to an appointment, and when I came back the police were in the driveway saying they’d found a body. “I was alone at home facing my new reality and I could not believe what I was being told by the police officers. I could hardly register it. I sat in the car and called my children one by one.” And Henry says: “We’d been having conversations on the family WhatsApp about the weather . Dad was the last person to message in the group, which we don’t use anymore, saying ‘Much better now’ with the sunglasses emoji. He sent that at midday, and Mum called me at 5pm telling me what had happened. It was a normal day, until all of a sudden it wasn’t.” In the aftermath of Robert’s suicide, the Ash family were supported by charity Suicide&Co, and slowly began to piece their life back together. "Suicide is a shocking death and we found that often people didn't know what to say to us." According to the Samaritans, 5717 suicides were registered in 2024.. This is 61 more than in 2023. The male suicide rate was 17.1 per 100,000, compared to a female suicide rate of 5.6 per 100,000. Males aged 50-54 years were found to have the highest suicide rate (26.8 per 100,000). In Robert's memory, Charlotte, James, Henry and their sister Camilla, 36, a lawyer who lives in Clapham, London, have decided to take on an incredible challenge: becoming the first family unit to row across the Atlantic. They’ll be raising funds for Suicide&Co with their record breaking feat . “We could not have got to where we have without the help of Suicide&Co,”says James. The charity provide free counselling to those bereaved by suicide, providing a lifeline and a semblance of hope. For their Atlantic adventure, the family need to raise £65,000 to buy a boat. Their total is currently around £25,000, and so the brothers are taking on the London Marathon to raise some more vital funds. James says: “The goal of the marathon is to raise money to allow us to buy the boat so we can then train through the summer to learn how to cross the ocean. We want to raise awareness too, suicide numbers are rising, especially in men. We’ve never done anything like this before - we’re not ocean people.” And Henry adds: “We’d never have got Dad on the boat, that’s for sure.” As the brothers make their way around the 26.2 miles course, Robert will be on their minds. “Dad will be there with us on the day. We’re doing this for him, and I hope he’ll be looking down on the day feeling proud of us,” says Henry. “I want my mum and sister to shout ‘do it for Dad’ as I run past them. That will keep me going. Dad loved his music, including Ash, so I’ll be listening to that as I go along.” And James says: “Dad will be in the forefront of my mind the whole time. We want to do him proud. Losing Dad will never be a positive event but if we create a positive legacy together, that’s a really powerful thing.” *Find out more www.ashfamilyrow.com ; and donate to the Ash family at https://www.gofundme.com/f/getustothestartline If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch