Courtney Love is revealing a health battle she kept private for years.
The Hole singer, 62, shared an update about her long-awaited new album, explaining that the record took shape during a period when she was frequently hospitalized and believed it could be her final work.
"I went to England in 2019 and when I went there, you know, my body just exploded," Love said in an Instagram video. "It just exploded. And I was in hospitals a lot. I almost died, I lost all my hair. I was about 100 pounds. And they told me I was going to die, and I didn’t believe them."
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Love did not identify the illness or illnesses she was battling, but said she ultimately recovered after refusing to accept the prognosis she had been given.
The singer connected that determination to a memory from childhood, describing a tendency to challenge what adults told her was true.
"When I was a kid — and I think this record is about this — I used to pattern interrupt the adults," she said. "They’d tell me red was blue, and then I’d see blue, but blue was blue, so now that I gaslight myself that maybe they were right, and red was blue, and then I would see purple, and my head would explode. Like f---ing cope with that s---, right?"
She continued, "I never really lost my ability to see that… red was red. Despite them telling me that red was blue. And so, when they said ‘you’re going to die,’ I just didn’t believe them. And somehow, I got better. I’m healthy, which is amazing."
"I just wasn’t public about being sick. I don’t want to be public. I’m fine now."
The singer said she wants to return to the road and perform again, describing music as essential to her well-being.
Her new album appears to have emerged directly from the period in which she was fighting to recover.
In an Instagram caption accompanying her video, Love explained that when she began making the record, she believed it might be her last.
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"I wanted to give you an update on my record. When I made it, I believed this was my last record so I made the record I always wanted to make. I was in the hospital mostly but when I wasn’t all I did was write & record it."
Love also thanked those who worked with her while she was dealing with what she described as trauma.
The project would mark a significant return for Love, who has not released an album since Hole’s 2010 "Nobody’s Daughter."
She closed her message by asking fans for patience as she prepares to return to public life.
