Chaotic and confused, England have learned nothing from the Ashes

Day 1: England 140 all out (Brook 56; Jamieson 5-62) lead New Zealand 61-6 (Robinson 4-10) by 79 runs

LORD’S — What have England learned from their nightmare winter in Australia? Absolutely nothing on the evidence of this wildly-fluctuating, thrilling opening day of the Test summer that saw Ollie Robinson emerge from the shadows to grab centre stage.

For all the talk of a fresh start and a new era following their 4-1 Ashes drubbing, Ben Stokes’ team helped shape a contest that was as chaotic, maddening and remarkable as anything that has gone before during the Bazball era. Indeed, this was pure carnage.

Bazball was supposed to be dead after the humiliation of Australia. But this anarchic, adrenalin-fuelled start to the series against New Zealand provided the kind of drama that we have become accustomed to over the past four years under Stokes and coach Brendon McCullum.

In the days leading up to this first Test, McCullum, who is lucky to still be in his job after the winter, spoke about the need for a “refinement” of England’s method and the team being “smarter”.

Nothing was either refined or smart about the way the hosts got themselves bowled out for 140 in 39.4 overs – their lowest first-innings total at home in the Bazball era.

Make no mistake, overcast conditions that offered significant assistance for New Zealand’s excellent bowling attack were awfully difficult to navigate. Yet for once England might have actually done themselves a favour if they had been more aggressive rather than dialling down a notch here in what looked a meek, confused response to the outcry that followed the Ashes.

Saying that, New Zealand’s batters were equally confounded by the conditions as Robinson, who started off with three wickets in his first over back in Test cricket for more than two years, made up for lost time with a performance that left everybody at Lord’s wondering where the hell he had been when the wheels were coming off in Australia?

The seam-friendly pitches encountered Down Under proved England’s undoing, especially as they packed their squad with pace and were left short-handed when it came to genuine line-and-length opening bowlers.

Dot. Dot. Wicket. Dot. Wicket. Wicket.

Every ball from that ridiculous Ollie Robinson over pic.twitter.com/A5jhEgkV1p

— England Cricket (@englandcricket) June 4, 2026

Having been cast out following the 2024 tour of India, Robinson started the Ashes winter playing for Sydney University rather than taking the new ball against Australia’s ageing and vulnerable batting line-up.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but maybe the inability of this England hierarchy to properly invest in Robinson after the retirements of James Anderson and Stuart Broad should now be seen for what it was – foolhardy.

There is still much for the 32-year-old to do this summer to prove he is here to stay. This scintillating start needs to be maintained. If it can, England will be all the better for it – particularly given the continuing vulnerability of their misfiring batting line-up.

Robinson’s dramatic entrance here may well prove the decisive moment of a Test match that bears remarkable similarities to last winter’s Ashes opener in Perth.

Like then, England were skittled for a low total, with a Harry Brook half-century the only contribution of note. It was then left to the bowlers to bail them out, Australia eventually routed for 132.

New Zealand will be lucky to get even that given how they ended this first day at Lord’s. If that’s the case, England’s batters need to learn the lessons of Perth, where they were dismissed for 164 second time around to cede control of a match they somehow lost inside two days.

Make no mistake, losing the toss here was not helpful for England. They were always up against it, especially as their batters were forced off the field three times thanks to a combination of rain and bad light.

Yet other than Brook, who was dropped twice during a typically frenetic innings of 56, the rest of the top seven looked to have got inside their own heads and adopted some kind of monastic approach to their craft that was no good either for themselves or their team.

Debutant opener Emilio Gay got a good delivery early on. It happens. But the reticence of Duckett, who made 19 off 37 balls, and the shocker of a leave from Jamie Smith that saw him bowled by Kyle Jamieson for one were emblematic of a collective who looked confused – stuck between playing their natural games and obsessed with being more sensible after the criticism of the Ashes.

In the end, they did neither and in conditions where there was always likely to be a delivery with your name on it, they became static.

The same could be said of New Zealand, too.

But after a winter that saw two of the five Ashes Tests end inside two days, we appear to be stuck on a loop here. If England win, they won’t care.

But the promised change and refinement were nowhere to be seen as this team defaulted to their Bazball factory setting – pure chaos and carnage. As we know, that’s not a sustainable recipe for success. For now, England will take it.