10 Lessons Of Love From The World’s Best Relationship Experts

InnovationScience10 Lessons Of Love From The World’s Best Relationship ExpertsByMark Travers,Contributor.Forbes contributors publish independent expert analyses and insights. I write about relationships, personality, and everyday psychology.Follow AuthorMay 25, 2026, 08:35am EDT--:-- / --:--This voice experience is generated by AI. Learn more.This voice experience is generated by AI. Learn more.The ‘Einsteins of love’ spent decades studying thousands of couples. Their findings reveal the everyday behaviors that strengthen relationships over time.gettyDrs. John and Julie Gottman are often referred to as the “Einsteins of love” — and for good reason, too. Their dedication to the field of relationship research is unprecedented. For decades, they’ve studied thousands of couples, carefully observing the habits, communication patterns and emotional reactions that separate healthy, lasting relationships from unhappy ones.What made the Gottmans’ work so revolutionary was that they didn’t rely on vague theories or romantic ideals. They quantified relationships in exquisite detail. Mapped them. Identified patterns so reliably that they can predict divorce with stunning accuracy. Over the years, their research has taught us that strong relationships are built with daily acts of kindness, repeated consistently over time.In a 2017 study published in the Journal of Family Theory & Review titled “The Natural Principles of Love,” the Gottmans summarized over four decades of their finest relationship research. Here are ten of the most important lessons his research has taught us about love, according to the study.Love Lesson #1: Always Turn TowardOne of the Gottmans’ most famous concepts is the idea of a “bid for connection,” which refers to any attempt your partner makes to gain your attention, affection, support or emotional engagement.Sometimes, these bids are obvious, like one partner asking, “Can we talk?” But most of the time, they’re subtle, like: “Come look at this funny...